Nahi...

Meri Biwi SHEEL mujhe khinchte hue Drawing room mein le gayi, "Aaiye main aapko apni saheli se milati hu. Hum log kareeb baraah saal baad mil rahe hain". Muje nahi maalum tha ki Drawing room mein dakhil hothe hi mujhe hairat ka ek jabardast jhatka bardaash karna padega. Mere saamne wah ladki baithi thi,jisse mujhe behad nafrat thi,magar jise main kabhi bhula na saka Ye Tajurba mere liye bada romantic bhi tha aur ajeeb bhi, ki koi haseen ladki, gali ke us paar roshandaan se aksar mujhe dekhti thi Ye silsila kaafi dino se chal raha tha. Office se aate-aate aur fursat ke shano mein,jab main khidki mein baitha padne mein vyst hota tha, uski arthpoorn aankhein roshandaan se mujhe jhaank rahi hoti thi. Us waqt meri ajeeb si haalat hoti thi. Ek taraf ye sukhad ehsaas ki hume bhi kisi ne dekhne ke kaabil samjha, aur dusri taraf ek anjaana-sa darr. Ye gali haalaanki veeran rehti thi, magar itni bhi nahi thi ki kisi waqt us par aamdharaft hi na rehti ho, Isliye darr lagta tha ki kahi ye choriyaan kisi roj koi pakad na le. Khamakhaah badnaami hogi. Main yahaan dehradun 6 mahine ki training poori karne aaya tha aur iske baad hi sub-engineer ki post par niyukhti honi thi. Apne career ke shuruwaat mein is kism ke kisi bhi scandal se main bachna chahta tha. Mere kamre ki kidhki thik us roshandaan ke saamne thi aur mein aksar apne kaamon ko us khidki ke paas baitkar hi anjaam detha tha...Chor nighahon se us roshandaan ki taraf dekhta bhi jaata tha..Jaane kyu meri kabhi himmat nahi padi ki un nidarr nazron ke jawab mein..main bhi use nazar bharkar dekh lu.Aate-jaate ek nazar uchatthi-si roshandaan ki taraf daal li,bas..Isme shak nahi ki wah ladki muje bahut acchi lagti thi. Ji chahta tha,vo isi tarah roshandaan ke piche moujood rahe aur main isi tarah khidki mein baitha rahu aur nazar-baajiyon ka ye romantic silsila,isi tarah chalta rahe... Us roj bhi main khidki mein baitha novel pad raha tha..Chor nazron se use bhi dekhta jaa raha tha,jo roshandaan ke piche muje padne mein vyst thi..Us waqt main bhi uski bebaak nazron ko padne ke liye himmat bator raha tha ki achanak mere saamne ,mere office ka chapraasi aa gaya..Main Boukhalaakar khada ho gaya..Muje aisa mehsus hua,jaise usne meri chori pakad li ho... Vah chapraasi mujhe mere chief ka sandhesh aur meri ghabraahat ko arthpoorn nazron se dekhta hua chala gaya,magar meri haalat ajeeb ho gayi..Maine apna paseena ponchte hue usi waqt us taank-jhaank ke silsile ko humesha ke liye band karne ka faisla kar liya. Is khel mein chahe kitni hi rumaniyat kyu na ho,isme sivaayi badnaami ke kuch nahi tha.Yah badnaami mera poora career tabaah kar sakti thi... Main kapde pahan kar baahar nikal gaya..Roshandaan mein vo chehra ab bhi moujood tha..Maine gali mein charon taraf nazar doudaayi. Gali sunsaan padi thi. Main roshandaan ke zara kareeb pahunchkar bola "Dekhiye madam,ye taank-jhaank karna shareef ladkiyon ko shoba nahi detha". Raat ko bahut der se ghar louta tha. Darwaza kholte hi aadat ke mutabik,maine chor nazron se roshandaan ki taraf dekha aur mera dil dhak se rah gaya.. Roshandaan ko iinte chunkar band kar diya gaya tha. Roshandaan ka is tarah band kar diya jaana muje kuch accha nahi laga. Kuch hi dino ki bechaini aur utsukta ne yah hakikat muj par khol di ki vo ladki mere poore asthithva par buri tarah haavi ho gayi hai. Ab vo meri pehli aur aakhiri aarzoo aur zarurat ban chuki hain. Baar baar is ummeed par roshandaan ki taraf nazrein utthi thi,ki shayad us haseen chehre ki koi jhalak mil jaaye. Magar har baar maayusi hi haath aayi.Meri sakhti ke jawab mein,us roshandaan mein chuni iinte jaise mere liye dil ki fhaans ban gayi thi.. Us roj chhutti thi. Main bilkul udaas aur bechain-sa baitha,us roshandaan ki taraf dekh raha tha ki achanak mujhe aisa laga jaise ki chuni hui iinton mein harkat mehsus ho rahi hai aur dekhte h dekhte waha se do iinte nikal gayi. Vahi ladki thi. Aaj kareeb do mahine baad uski jhalak dekhne ko mil rahi thi. Ye avadhi us vyakthi ke liye bahut lambi hain,jiska ek-ek pal intezaar mein bita ho.Us jaalim ne meri sakti ke jawab mein mujse bahut sakt badla liya tha. main jaldi se darwaza kholkar bahar aaya aur dabe paanv chalta hua roshandaan ke paas pahunchkar ruk gaya. Uski aankhein barabar mere chehre par jami hui thi. Main bhi thodi der thak use ektak dekhta raha. Shayad pehli baar maine use itne dhyaan se dekha tha. Udhaas-si khoyi khoyi aankhon mein bala ki kashish thi vo.. Maine dhere se pucha, "MUJSE SHAADI KAROGI?" Vah khamosh rahi. Apni bhaavpoorn aankhon se muje dhekti rahi. Maine fhir apna sawaal dohraaya.Kuch dher ki khamoshi ke baad,usne bharraayye hue laheje mein jawab diya, "NAHI"..aur iske saath hi vah roshandaan veeran ho gaya. ye "NAHI" mere liye anupekshit jawab to tha hi,meri bhavnaon ko chot pahunchane wala bhi tha. yah chot maine apni aatma par mehsus ki. Mujhe ehsaas hua,jaise kisi ne muje be-izzat kar diya ho.Zindagi mein pehli baar kisi ki taraf kadam badaya tha aur mooh ki khayi thi. Apni aatma par yah bhoj liye,main apne kamre mein lout aaya. Us bhoj ne muje raatbhar baichain rakha kar rakha tha. Raatbhar ke us dard aur bechaini ka fhal tha NAFRATEIN. MERE DIL MEIN AB USKE LIYE NAFRATEIN HI NAFRATEIN THI. Meri training poori ho chuki thi.Muje sub-engineer ,shimla ke post ko join karna tha. Jab mera saara saaman metador mein lod ho chuka to main driver ko hidaayat deta hua bola "tum chalo,hotel ke paas mera intezaar karna .Main maakan maalik ko chaabi dekar aata hu".Metador ke jaate hi ,ek tej sargoshi mere kaanon se takraayi- "Suniye". Main na chahte hue bhi,roshandaan ki taraf khinchta chala gaya. Vah muje chand lamhon tak dekhti rahi .Fhir boli, "Mera naam SHEEN hai. Kabhi yaad kar ligiye." aawaaz mein ek yaachana thi. Magar mere laheje mein to kadwahat hi kadwahat thi. Uske "NAHI" ki kadwahat. Main honth sikhodkar bola, "Raasthe mein milne waale har chehre ko yaad rakhkar,main zindagi bhar ka ajaab mol nahi le sakta madam." "Lekin main humesha aapko yaad rakhungi. Humesha aapki khushi ke liye dhuvayein karti rahungi." Uski aawaaz bharra rahi thi aur laheje mein siskiyaan thi.. "Shukriya. Magar muje aapki dhuvaon ki zarurat nahi. Khuda haafiz." Maine chalte-chalte nazar uthakar dekha. Uski aankhon mein aansoo bhar aaye the. Usne apna ek haath roshandaan se bahar nikaalkar hilaya.Main teji se aage bad gaya. Dehradun chhodte hue mujhe dus saal ho chuke hain.Main assistant engineer ban chuka hu.Meri ek khoobsurat biwi hain.Do fhool jaise bacche hain. Saari sukh-suvidaayein mujhe praapt hain. Magar SHEEN ko main kabhi nahi bhool saka. Raat ko jab bistar par aaram ke liye letta hu,koi sargoshi karta hain, "MEIN HUMESHA AAPKO YAAD RAKHUNGI.HUMESHA AAPKI KHUSHIYON KE LIYE DHUVAYEIN KARTI RAHUNGI." Muje aksar uska haath hilakar rhoondhi hui aawaaz mein alwida kahne ka drushya yaad aa jaata hain. Uski taank-jhaank yaad aathi hain. Mere daantne par uska roshandaan mein iinte chuna dena yaad aatha hain. Magar uske saath hi ,jab uski "NAHI" yaad aathi hain,to aisa lagta hain, jaise mere poore asthithva mein kadwahat uthar aayi ho. Vaise yah baat mere liye aaj bhi rahashyamayi bani hui hain ki 'NAHI' ke bawajood,muje vidha karte waqt uski aankhon mein aansoo kyu te? Honthon par kampkampaahat aur laheje mein dukh kyu tha? Vah aakhir kyu chahti thi ki main use yaad rakhu? Aaj vahi SHEEN mere saamne baithi thi,mere chhote bacche se khel rahi thi. Meri biwi ne jis andaaz mein mera parichay karwaya,mujhe yaad nahi. Mujhe to bas ek hi ehsaas tha ki main us ladki se behad nafrat karta hu aur SHEEL ki saheli ki haisiyat se bhi,mujhe uska hona manjur nahi.use achanak saamne dekhkar uska "NAHI" apni saari kadwahat ke saath,mujh par haavi hota jaa raha tha. Main koi sakht baat kahne hi waala tha ki achanak meri nazar deewar ke sahare rakhi baisaakiyon ke jode par padi.Maine sawaliya nazron se SHEEL ki taraf dekhkar poocha "YE KYA HAIN?" Vo hichkhichate hue SHEEN ki taraf dekhte hue boli "INKI HAIN". SHEEN ki shila pighalne lagi."NAHI" ki kadwahat jaise ekdum madhyam ho gayi.Maine SHEEN ki taraf dekhkar poocha "YE HUA KAISE?" Vah khamosh rahi aur vaise hi mere bacche se khelti rahi.SHEEL boli, "Apne ghar ke store-room mein roshandaan ki iinte chunkar baand rahi thi ki balance bigad gaya. Ye stool aur table samait niche ghir padi. Bhaari-bharkam table ghutne par aisi ghiri ki haddhi chur-chur ho gayi." "OOHHH"....Mere mooh se nikla. Jaante hue bhi maine atak-atak kar poocha ,"MAGAR ROSHANDAAN BAND KARNE KI ZARURAT KYU PAD GAYI THI? "BAS JUNGLI BILLE-BILLIYON KA KHOUF." Vah kuch yaad karte hue boli "AAP BHI TO DEHRADUN MEIN RAH CHUKE HAIN NA?" Mujhe aisa kyu laga,jaise SHEEL ne us bille ko pakad liya ho,jiski vajah se SHEEN apni ek taang jawa baithi. SHEEN ko vidha karte waqt maine mouka paakar sirf itna kaha, "Afhsos ki tumne mujhe in baisaakhiyon se bhi gaya-gujra samja. Kamzor samjha. Ek mouka to deti. Ek baar aazmaakar to dekhti. SHEEN ,main tumhe kabhi nahi bhool saka aur na kabhi bhool paunga." Vah muskuraayi ,jaise use sab kuch mil gaya ho.Jaise usne aankhon hi aankhon mein kaha ho "SHUKRIYA".

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